At Soho Integrative EMDR, we see firsthand how unresolved relational trauma shapes the way people navigate love, trust, and connection. The rise of terms like gaslighting, ghosting, and red flags in everyday conversations highlights just how many people struggle in relationships or have experienced emotional harm. While these words bring awareness to toxic dynamics, they also point to a deeper issue—unhealed wounds from past relationships that continue to influence present-day interactions. Dr. Rebecca Hoffenberg, an expert in relationships and self-esteem, explains that without addressing these wounds, patterns of mistrust, avoidance, and self-sabotage can take hold. By using Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, we help individuals break free from these cycles, rebuild self-trust, and create healthier, more fulfilling connections.
The connection between trauma and relationships—particularly relational trauma like betrayal or neglect—can deeply undermine self-worth and erode trust. If left unresolved, it often manifests in ways that hinder your ability to form meaningful connections, such as:
These patterns are not just the result of your current circumstances but are often tied to unresolved past experiences. Without addressing the root causes, these dynamics can perpetuate cycles of conflict, isolation, or self-sabotage in relationships.
Unlike traditional talk therapy, which often focuses on managing current symptoms or relational dynamics, EMDR therapy delves deeper to process the underlying traumatic memories and beliefs. However, EMDR is not limited to addressing severe trauma—it can also be effective in resolving less overt issues like chronic stress, negative self-perceptions, or persistent relational challenges. By targeting the root causes, EMDR helps reframe how you perceive yourself and others. Here’s how:
Dr. Hoffenberg explains, “Through an EMDR lens, negative beliefs are viewed as byproducts of trauma. For instance, during a traumatic event a person might feel unsafe, powerless, or badly about themselves. Because of how traumatic memories are stored, these verbalizations of how the trauma may have felt can become a part of someone's larger identity, not because they are 'the truth' but because they might feel true.”
Dr. Rebecca Hoffenberg notes, “When someone who struggles with trust enters into a new relationship, it can feel confusing to discern what is presently causing distress from what they might expect due to earlier interpersonal trauma. EMDR can help someone approach present-day situations more clearly and based on what is happening now as opposed to what happened then.”
According to Dr. Rebecca Hoffenberg, “People will often report feeling very alone after a trauma. This isolation is an added layer that may make it challenging for a person to hold onto a positive view of themselves. Through the EMDR process and by forming a positive working relationship with your therapist, you can strengthen your ability to connect with yourself and others, often resulting in greater self-compassion.”
In addition to EMDR, we incorporate Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques to support your healing journey. These approaches complement EMDR by:
Dr. Rebecca Hoffenberg states, “EMDR emphasizes the importance of dual awareness. Similar to a mindfulness practice, an EMDR therapist will work with someone on building dual awareness by supporting the client to observe their thoughts, feelings, and somatic sensations. By strengthening one's ability to be dually aware, emotions can feel less overwhelming and a person may feel a greater sense of control and empowerment over their emotional experience.”
Together, these therapies provide a comprehensive framework for rebuilding self-esteem, enhancing emotional resilience, and fostering healthier relational dynamics.
Through EMDR, many individuals find themselves capable of:
If past relationship trauma, attachment wounds, or emotional neglect have left you struggling with trust, intimacy, or self-esteem, EMDR therapy for relationships can help. By healing emotional pain at its root and rebuilding self-worth, you can break free from unhealthy patterns and create deeper, more fulfilling connections.
Contact us today to learn more about how EMDR, combined with integrative approaches like CBT and mindfulness, can help you embark on a journey of healing and transformation. Click here to book your free consultation or reach out to us at (646) 585-1610. Let’s make this the year you take meaningful steps toward lasting change.